Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Monday, 10 October 2011


I have been waiting to find something interesting to write about, but my life is full of mundane things, so I will just have to write about one of them instead.

I did my food shopping today, as I usually do on a Monday. I realise I could make my life a whole lot easier by going on a Tuesday, when The Toddler is at nursery, but then I would have to think of something else to do on Monday, and I'm not so good at that. This is where people jump in to tell me I could make my life easier still and do it online. I know I should, it would save lots of hassle. And money, as I am the type of person who cannot walk past something that is on offer. The day is coming when I come home with budgie feed and denture tablets, just because they were half price. But I don't trust other people to pick things for me, and, like I said, it's something to do. Some weeks I'd hardly leave the house if it weren't for the weekly shop.

Anyway, we got off to a good start today. I remembered to put my shopping bags in the car. I remembered to check I had change for the car park (I did, which is good, because otherwise going shopping then also involves a sometimes convoluted search for both a cash machine and somewhere to purchase something to get change that are close enough to a parking space that I don't start to imagine ridiculously far-fetched scenarios of car-jacking, explosions or The Littl'un choking to death on her own hand). I even remembered my little trolley token that I got free, for some inexplicable reason, with my house. When we got to the supermarket, there was even a parent and child parking space free that didn't contain white van with a man reading a newspaper in it, or a tiny sports car that has patently never even seen a child. So I went to get my parking ticket, and then my trolley. Which was very wet. I know it seems very churlish to complain about something that the supermarket has only provided to make my life easier, but while it is very nice of them to provide baby and toddler trolleys, it would be even nicer if they didn't store them just outside the cover of the canopy at the store entrance. But if they put them under the canopy, where would everyone stand and smoke? Ah well, after wiping down the trolley with a blanket, persuading The Toddler not to put both her legs through the same leg-hole, and forgetting then remembering to get my bags out of the boot, we finally entered the shop.

The children were pretty well-behaved for a while. The Toddler was taking great pleasure in shouting out things for me to buy, mainly plums, even once they were safely in the trolley. As I was having a good nosey in the "Reduced for Quick Sale" cabinet, however, I heard "NO! MY hair! Stop pulling my hair!!". I looked round and, sure enough, the baby and toddler trolley was perfectly designed to allow The Littl'un to show off her new-found grabbing ability, and was gleefully entangling her little fist in The Toddler's hair. Which had not been expertly brushed and de-tangled as it, of course, always (for which read, hardly ever) is, but had just had a brush quickly dragged through it and was sticking out around her head in a riotous mass of cotters and frizz. I removed the offending hand, and gave The Littl'un a little cloth book to play with. Which she did, for about 12 seconds, when she decided that it was not nearly as much of a good toy as the briar thicket on her sister's head. Understandably, The Toddler got a bit pissed off with this fairly quickly. She also decided she was tired, and hungry, so the rest of the trip around the supermarket was punctuated with demands for "Raisins!", "Couch!", "Daddy!", and frequent shouts of "OW! Naughty baby! Stop it!".

Finally, the checkout queue. Now, can I get The Toddler to surrender the packet of crumpets she insisted on holding so I can pay for them? This usually results in some kind of meltdown, but today she was willing to let them go. So willing, in fact, that she dropped them on my head while I was emptying the trolley. Then she wanted them back once they were paid for, and cuddled them like a teddy bear all the way home.

So on reflection, a pretty easy trip. Relatively speaking, that is. I still think that it's no wonder a bottle of Chardonnay finds its way into my trolley every week....

1 comment:

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