Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Monday, 5 March 2012

And Again....

As you all have already been told, numerous times, The Littl'un is rubbish at sleeping. I thought I could see some small amount of progress, once I stopped insisting she wasn't hungry at night. So although we were having to get up in the middle of the night and blunder around with formula, we were at least not being subjected to hours of demented screaming. So that was good. The Littl'un even started sleeping until 5am before waking for her feed, an hour which, pre-children, I used to consider horribly uncivilised, but now seems like a miraculous time if I've been able to sleep until then.

And then one night it was 4am. And then 3am. And then 2am. And then half-past bloody one. What is this child trying to do to me???!!!

So, I decided to try a change of tack. If sometimes The Littl'un was capable of sleeping for a long stretch, and then a short one, why didn't I try and change it round? I'd never had much luck with a dreamfeed before, but surely it was worth a try, before I threw her out of a window? It seemed like such a simple idea. I spent the day in a state of desperate excitement that I might actually have found The Thing That Could Work.

So, Night One, I hauled The Littl'un out of bed at 11pm, put her weird cup/bottle hybrid-type thing (only thing she can drink milk out of without spitting it all back out all over herself) to her lips, and watched her sleepily guzzle her milk. It was quite cute. Settled her back in her cot without a murmur of complaint. Perhaps this would be OK after all.

Or maybe not. Maybe she would wake at 4am, full of the joys of spring, wanting to play. Maybe we would eventually give up trying to get her to go back in her cot, and bring her into our bed, where she would gleefully spend the next hour gurgling and sticking her bewilderingly pointy fingernails up my nose.

After a few nights of this, I did have some success in at least getting her to go back into her cot to do the gurgling. And then, two nights ago, I was stunned to find that after her feed, she slept in her cot all night, only crying once for her dummy. I would have been ecstatic with that, had The Toddler not chosen that night to have an epic screaming fit at 3.20am, for reasons unknown. But still, did this mean I could approach last night in a spirit of cautious optimism....?

Come on, you know the drill by now. Of course not. Last night I had the dubious pleasure of seeing every hour of the clock, scrabbling around in the darkness to try and find where the hell her bloody dummy had gone. Perhaps I should have held off to see if she could settle herself, but I don't think I actually wake up enough to be able to make that decision until I'm out of bed. I find myself standing by the side of her cot without really knowing how I've got there. Husband went one better though. He did not only not know how I got there, he completely failed to notice I'd got up at all. Grr.

So anyway, that's where we are. Still no sleep. Are you bored of these stories yet? I am. I feel I must apologise for the tedium - Bad Mammy wants sleep, tries something, it almost works, and then it doesn't, so she whinges. Repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Hopefully, if The Littl'un ever does decide that I can be allowed to complete a sleep-cycle, my writing will improve. Or at the very least, I'll have to find something different to complain about. Let's all look forward to that day.


  1. Keep going with the dream feed, even if it gets u through to 5am it's worth it. Those 1am and 2am wake ups are the worst. I sympathise. Back on them at the moment with a poorly toddler.

  2. I have abandoned it. On Monday night, she woke at 4am and wouldn't really settle again, and then on Tuesday, she was fast asleep, I picked her up, she pinged! awake. And didn't go back to sleep for FOUR FREAKIN' HOURS. Give me a straightforward night feed any day!

  3. Oh my I don't blame you then!