Conflicted

Here is a small list of things which gave me a strange feeling. They give my children such joy (or at least, temporary unwhingey-ness), but are very annoying:

Mr Tumble (Shut up)

Soft play (Full of Other People's Children)

Glitter (My house looks like the bedroom of a 90s teenager going to a school disco)

Books that make animal noises (We have a cat one, a duck one, and a sheep one. They all sound the same)

Play-doh (If anyone knows how to get it out of carpet, please do share)

The Little Mermaid II (Yes, they made it, and yes, it's awful)

Cheap nursery rhyme CDs (My child now sings in a weird American accent)

Kids magazines (always an effective bribe, but I've now got about 700 plastic phones)

Rice cakes (They smell weird)

I don't know whether I want to give the inventors of these things a big kiss or a punch in the face.