Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Why I Am Still Bad Mammy

Over the last couple of months, I have started to believe that I am now less Bad than I used to be. On closer examination, I have come to the conclusion that that's not true, I simply have stopped worrying about it. Also, now The Baby is almost not a baby anymore, there is slightly less to worry about. However, here are some reasons why I still deserve the title of Bad Mammy:
  • I still don't take her to do exciting and stimulating activities. That's what I pay nursery fees for, surely?
  • Even though she is crawling around the floor all the time, and picking up and trying to eat anything from the floor that looks like it might be food (even though it could really be a piece of paper, money or an ant), I'm still shockingly bad at keeping the floors clean.
  • I have moved her off formula, and stopped sterilising, before the Government-prescribed age of 1 year (because, at the stroke of midnight on their first birthday, ALL babies' stomachs can suddenly cope with this).
  • The baby-proofing equipment is STILL in the cupboard under the stairs.
  • I have not even thought about trying to reduce her dummy usage.
  • I forget to put socks on her all the time.
  • If she is having a tantrum, and I can't think of what else to do, I give her a biscuit. (Homemade biscuits though, surely that gets me some Good Mammy points?)
  • I tell her she's naughty. Which is apparently really bad for their self-esteem, and just encourages them to be naughty, because they are being told that's what they are. Just what I need, a toddler with self-esteem issues.
  • I let her steal my food, even when she's just had her own meal and I know she's not hungry. Wonder why she's so bloody huge?
  • I enjoy being at work and away from her FAR too much.
But that's not too bad, right? Thankfully, by now lots of my mammy friends have relaxed now their babies aren't fragile, precious little newborns anymore, and I've made some almost equally Bad Mammy friends, so I feel much less alone in my rubbishness! But I'm sure the toddler phase is going to throw up plenty of opportunities to do things wrong. Bring it on, I say.

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