Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Wednesday, 9 February 2011


At last! The Toddler has finally learnt to say "Mama". I think she even means me when she says it! Hurrah! I no longer feel unloved and unappreciated (although I did try to tell myself that she didn't need a name for me, as I was always the default person she wanted. She only needed names for the other, less important people. Not sure I convinced myself).

"Mama" is just one of The Toddler's new words. The last couple of weeks have seen a massive jump in her vocabulary. We now have, among others "biscuit", "par-par" (for the offensively rubbish "Grandpa in My Pocket" from CBeebies), "Beebies" (of course), "get out" and "get down", "eyes", "ears", "nose" and "mouth" (almost always accompanied by pointing to the correct facial feature, although there is a certain amount of eye/ear confusion going on), "book", "pig" (although this only means Peppa) "Jeez" (Jesus, when she wants her extremely, bizarrely abridged nativity story book), "mash" (new one tonight) and "clock" (which we keep trying to tell her has an "l" in it, but she won't listen. Which gets embarrassing). She also knows "cheeky", probably down to the fact that I have tolder her she is being it about a thousand times lately. I'm still not sure at what age it is that they know they are winding you up and doing things they shouldn't, but I'm guessing it's round about now.

Not to be outdone, The New'un has been doing some learning too. It's learnt how to wriggle, squirm, punch and kick. And it's learnt how to do this at 11.30pm every night, when I'm trying to get to sleep. This one's playing up before it's even out! What have I let myself in for?

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