Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Some Bad Mammyness

I will clearly never win Frequent Blogger of the Year, should such a thing exist. I'll never win Perfect Parent of the Year either, and here are a few (more) reasons why...

  • The Toddler has been a bit under the weather today, so has been allowed to watch telly ALL day. Because Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is a cure for the common cold, obviously.
  • I keep forgetting where I have put The New'un. Really. It's a bit frightening. I'll be wandering around the house, tending to various bits of stuff, when all of a sudden I will realise that I put her down somewhere ages ago and haven't been back to get her, and can't remember exactly where. It's only ever cot, crib, moses basket or playmat, but still, it's slightly unnerving. Hopefully I won't start doing it when we're out.
  • Oh, hang on. Just remembered another place I sometimes put The New'un. The sofa. And I know I'm not supposed to, and that babies can learn to roll freakishly early and freakishly quickly, and I still do not stop it. I will, though. Promise.
  • The Toddler now knows most of the words (and some of the dance moves) to "Good Morning Baltimore", such is the amount of time she spends watching Hairspray.
  • I keep forgetting to change The New'un's nappy, and then wonder why she's crying.
  • If I can't be bothered to explain why The Toddler can't have something, it is "broken". I lie a lot.
  • I have still not managed to implement any kind of discipline regime, apart from occasionally half-heartedly threatening to take things away, or put her in the corner. She always calls my bluff.
  • I am still in denial about the fact that The Toddler needs toilet-training because I am lazy and frightened and dislike cleaning wee out of the carpet.
  • If The New'un starts to cry for no discernible reason, she gets the nearest dummy plonked in her mouth, regardless of whether it came out of the steriliser or from underneath the sofa.
I did do painting AND play-doh today though. Check me out.

No comments:

Post a Comment