Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Sunday, 31 January 2010

Why I am Bad Mammy

So, as I said in my first post, I'm not a terrible mother. I'm actually a pretty good mother (I think. I hope, anyway). I love and care for my child, I clothe her, change her, attempt to feed her a balanced diet, give her cuddles, put cream on her eczema and play with her, even when she is being a little bugger. I am, however, not the most conscientious of mothers (especially when compared to the thousands of mums that are always posting on various internet forums, they find things to worry about which would never cross my mind!) and so have christened myself Bad Mammy for several reasons, which include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • I ignore almost all of the advice from the Department of Health, books and the internet, usually dismissing it with a "What harm can it do?!"
  • I never take her to do any of the plethora of enriching and stimulating activities that are on offer for babies nowadays. Baby groups unnerve me a little bit - I'm not sure why - so I don't go to them, preferring to put The Baby in front of Playhouse Disney or the washing machine.
  • I take my eyes off her far too often and assume she will remain where I left her, even though I know she could start rolling and/or crawling at any moment.
  • When she was three months old, I let a mad old lady at my Nanna's wake give her a taste of white wine.
  • I am terrible at sterilising things.
  • The things that I do sterilise, I then make no effort to keep sterile
  • I don't see the point of sterilising things anyway, when I let her put her toys straight back in her mouth after they've fallen on the kitchen floor. (I justify all this to myself by saying that germs are good and I'm helping her immune system develop. If there are any germologists or whatever out there, please don't disabuse me of this notion)
  • I often look at the clock and realise I can't remember the last time I changed her nappy.
  • I commit the cardinal sin of microwaving formula sometimes.
  • I stopped breastfeeding so I could get drunk at Christmas.
  • I had a glass of wine at least every few days while pregnant and breastfeeding.
  • I call her a little bugger with alarming frequency. I won't be surprised if she grows up thinking that's her name.

..... and probably a million other things that would make an NCT group have a collective heart attack.......

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant. I believe if a dummy falls onto the floor an acceptable way of sterilising it is to put it in my mouth give it a suck and then stick it back in her mouth, you're right germs are good for them! I am also with you on the drinking wine thing, I did try in the beginning to avoid alcohol but I then thought as she is my daughter she will one day love wine so why not give her a taste for it early on :-)