Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Saturday, 30 July 2011

I Am Just Not The Sort Of Woman Who Can...

.. have the kind of home where there are shelves that exist solely to hold decorative vases.

.. go into a room to accomplish three things and do any more than one of them.

.. be in a photograph without some, or indeed most of my bra showing.

.. remember to buy birthday cards in advance of someone's birthday.

.. breastfeed discreetly. If you're in the vicinity and my baby is hungry, you're going to have to see my nipple. (Not in a "I BREASTFEED AND YOU WILL ALL TAKE NOTICE!" kind of way, I'm just not coordinated enough)

.. go on to the internet to check my facebook and actually just check my facebook without making faecetious comments and arguing with strangers on parenting forums.

.. follow a recipe without adding something, leaving something out, replacing something with something else or just generally fannying about with it.

.. think of exciting and creative things for children to do, which is why The Toddler's favourite activities are taking potatoes out of the potato bag, running around the garden screeching, and watching CBeebies.

.. have a washing pile that is smaller than a horse.

.. get her toddler to answer any question other than "Would you like a cheese sandwich?" with the word "No".

Among other things.

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