Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Wednesday, 21 December 2011


A couple of weeks ago, I bought The Littl'un some more dummies, taking her total up to six. Today, I am aware of the whereabouts of two. That's four dummies, unaccounted for. I'm pretty sure we haven't lost any whilst out and about, which means they must be somewhere in my house. So here's the big question: WHERE????!!!!!!!!!!! They are not in the cot, under the cot, in our bed, under our bed, in any of my handbags, in any coat pockets, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the car, on any shelves, under the sofas, or in any of the other places they might logically be.

So what's going on? Is there some kind of dummy vortex in my house? Some kind of wormhole in the space-time continuum through which they slip, never to return? It's the only explanation I can think of (Oh, except for the other, more likely one, which involves The Toddler and a lapse in supervision).

I've got a plan though. I shall go to the hideously overpriced supermarket over the road, and buy a load more. Then, I imagine, they will promptly turn up, in an achingly obvious spot which I have looked in at least 24 times.

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