"Can I help you there?"
"Yes, we need to buy the next stage car seat for our daughter, please."
"Certainly. What sort of thing are you looking for?"
"A car seat."
"Right. The Group 1 seats are on these 7 shelves here"
"Hmm. There's lots of them. What's that one like?"
"That's the DriveMax Leopard at £99.99. It has 5 recline positions and the unique Grip and Clip fastening system."
"OK, and what about that one?"
"That's the DriveMax Leopard Plus. It costs £189.99"
"Well what's the difference between that one and the first one?"
"The Leopard Plus, instead of the Grip and Clip system, uses the European-approved Clip and Grip system. And it has an integrated cupholder."
"And this one? Is it really £13.99?"
"Yes, that's the Crappia Fling. It is secured using Blu-Tack, and comes with a free child locator key fob, so you can find your baby after it's hurtled through the windscreen."
"That doesn't sound very safe.."
"No, it's not."
"So why do you sell it?"
"We cater for all types of baby here, madam, including those who like to live on the edge."
"Right. What about this one?"
"That is the Seaty 3000. If you have it in green, you can have £20 off, because someone in Head Office ordered too many."
"Ok, we'll take that one."
"Great, they are currently being stored in an aircraft hanger just north of Bristol, so we can deliver it to you in 1-12 working days. Please stay in your house for that whole time, as we can't re-deliver it if we miss you."
"Have a nice day!"