Because what the internet needs is more wittering about rubbish parenting

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

What not to say....

.... to a pregnant woman.

One of my best friends is currently about 4 months pregnant, and her facebook status today was exactly the same as how I felt when I was at that stage. All the pregnancy books are telling you "By now you will have stopped feeling sick and will have a great rush of energy. In fact you may be feeling better than ever!" LIES LIES LIES LIES GO AWAY YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE I STILL FEEL LIKE A BAG OF CRAP!!!!!! - was my not at all hormone-influenced, over-the-top reaction to that. So in honour of my good, and still very tired, friend, and any other mammies-to-be out there, here are some more things that it is not wise to say to a pregnant woman.

  • "Are you sure there's only one in there?!" - Yes. That's why you have the scans. You're just calling me fat.
  • "How's the bump?" - I don't know, it doesn't exactly update its facebook status on a regular basis. Ask me how I am. (Ok, it may have just been me that had an issue with this one)
  • "You're carrying low/high/left/right, it must be a boy/girl" - You're just guessing.
  • "Are you sure you should be eating/drinking that?" - Yes. I am.
  • "That can't be good for the baby" - Neither can its mother going to prison for sticking a fork in your eyes.
  • "Sleep now while you can!" - Love to. Just tell me how, when I am roughly the shape of a hippo that's eaten a beach ball, and I've got someone standing on my bladder.
  • "Babies are hard work, you know" - Really. I wish that had occurred to me before I got myself in this state.
  • "Don't you think you're being a bit unreasonable?" - Just don't. Ever.

Who's got more?


  1. Two things I found very annoying:
    1. When I had severe morning sickness and was dying everyday I loved to be told by everyone around me how they didn't get sick at all during their pregnancies- Really! Oh thank you that makes me feel 100% better.
    2. The next was the barrage of people informing me about labour and what to expect, sharing all the gory details about the horrendous pain and how no pain relief worked for them- Again just what I wanted to hear when I was about to push a person out of me!

  2. I think I was one of those annoying labour story people, Al, sorry! I loved hearing labour stories - they terrified the crap out of me but I figured forewarned is forearmed!

  3. I didn't mind being forewarned, it was more the speak of no pain relief ever works I got from most of my work colleges :-) x The thing that scared the crap out of me was watching the discovery channels with lots of women giving birth- It got so bad at one point that Ben threatened to cancel our Sky subscription unless I stopped watching them lol x