One of my best friends is currently about 4 months pregnant, and her facebook status today was exactly the same as how I felt when I was at that stage. All the pregnancy books are telling you "By now you will have stopped feeling sick and will have a great rush of energy. In fact you may be feeling better than ever!" LIES LIES LIES LIES GO AWAY YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE I STILL FEEL LIKE A BAG OF CRAP!!!!!! - was my not at all hormone-influenced, over-the-top reaction to that. So in honour of my good, and still very tired, friend, and any other mammies-to-be out there, here are some more things that it is not wise to say to a pregnant woman.
- "Are you sure there's only one in there?!" - Yes. That's why you have the scans. You're just calling me fat.
- "How's the bump?" - I don't know, it doesn't exactly update its facebook status on a regular basis. Ask me how I am. (Ok, it may have just been me that had an issue with this one)
- "You're carrying low/high/left/right, it must be a boy/girl" - You're just guessing.
- "Are you sure you should be eating/drinking that?" - Yes. I am.
- "That can't be good for the baby" - Neither can its mother going to prison for sticking a fork in your eyes.
- "Sleep now while you can!" - Love to. Just tell me how, when I am roughly the shape of a hippo that's eaten a beach ball, and I've got someone standing on my bladder.
- "Babies are hard work, you know" - Really. I wish that had occurred to me before I got myself in this state.
- "Don't you think you're being a bit unreasonable?" - Just don't. Ever.
Who's got more?